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Hey! How is your marriage? Are you guys still crazy about each other? Do you guys still enjoy doing nice things for each other? Are you still mesmerized by each other? If your answer is no to the above questions, this blog is just for you! If your answer is yes, while this blog is not for you, read it and then write your own so we can help others.
If your answer to the questions were no, we need to begin by asking one more question...
WHAT HAPPENED?
What happened in your relationship that started the disintegration of a once strong love? I probably know what you’re going to say... “Winston, it’s been so much, I don’t even know where to begin!” That’s the lazy answer. Yes, other stuff happened after that thing happened and yes you might have lost track, but I’d like to invite you to do the hard work of trying to experience when you were excited about each other to when you stopped being excited or started to stop being excited about each other.
MY STORY...
What happened to us? Kamala should’ve never gotten married to me! I was an immature, selfish, looking for commitment but not willing to give it man. I had low self esteem, even though I did not quite know it at the time. We got married but I was not committed... that’s what happened to us... I had to admit that...
This will sound contradictory. I did say Kamala should not have married me, but it is also true that God placed us together...
I destroyed my marriage because of those reasons, but Kamala kept it together for as long as she could, then she gave up and I did not know my marriage was over. She left me, but still loved me and so when I got her back she told me about me (be sure to read her blog when she does it) and I saw a monster. I set out to kill that monster by suicide, but the God of mercy and grace gave me what I am calling one more chance. He told me He did not condemn me, so I should not kill myself but go home and do better.
I nag her sometimes, but if you ask her, she will tell you that I’m doing way better... as a matter of fact it is out of our Desperate Cry that we started KWMinistries.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
1. ASK God to please forgive you of all your sins. Believe He forgave you and loves you UNCONDITIONALLY!!! Read Romans chapter 8. 2. BEGIN to love your spouse out of the overflow of the love God is lavishing on you. Read Ephesians, all of it!!!
3. BELIEVE that God joined you together and no matter what (my opinion, unless abuse) you’re not giving up on A HAPPY MARRIAGE
4. ACCEPT what happened. Yes, understand what happened and do not hesitate to accept your part.
5. BEGIN the hard work of complete honesty with each other. (Kamala told me the other day that she does not love me like she use to. It hurt like hell!!!!! I almost went crazy, but now that my pride is soothed and the shock of now knowing I’m not God’s gift to humanity has worn off— I AM SO HAPPY SHE TOLD ME THAT BECAUSE WE ARE WORKING ON GETTING BACK THERE AND GOING WAY BEYOND)
6. BEGIN to self sacrifice! Respect her like she wants to be respected. Respect him like he wants to be respected. BE LOYAL, cut loose all other loyalties NOW!!!!!!! USE YOUR HANDS to actively CARE for each other the way the other person wants to be cared for. VALUE EACH OTHER
7. FOLLOW your commitment, your feelings will come!!!!!
8. When I learn more by experience I’ll write another blog... in the mean time... GO LOVE THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER AND HAVE FUN DOING IT