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You realize your job is to be a mentor, be consistent and be realistic. But what else do I need to know? The funny thing about parenting is that it’s an ever evolving creature! Remember, how we talked about there not being a manual? This is why. The child you parent at age 5 is not the same child you parent at age 15. Now that might not seem like rocket science but there’s actually a lot to think about.
Age 5
It’s a whole new world out there. I need to know that my parents are here whenever I need them. I need them to answer all my questions, be my safe place, provide my boundaries. I need to have a safe environment to learn and explore. Parents, you are your children’s God at this age!!! You shape the way they will view the world for a lifetime. Will they feel safe, connected and secure or anxious, disconnected and in constant uncertainty? You decide this for them here.
Age 10
The game has changed. I thought I understood my world but here it goes changing again. Now I have to navigate friendships and insecurities about being accepted outside my family. Life is risky out here and I need my parents to stay on top of helping me navigate my social scene. Give me a place to air my uncertainties without judgement. I have a million questions that I’m embarrassed to ask!!! Parents, your job here is to be the sounding board, the direction, the discipline AND the safe place.
Age 16
Guess what. I’m in transition. You may not like it but I’m beginning to need some skills that I can transfer to adulthood. I need to be able to make some decisions on my own. I need to take responsibility and ownership. Sometimes that’s gonna mean we don’t see eye to eye. Sometimes we’ll disagree. Sometimes I’ll think other peoples opinions are more valid. Parents, your job here is not to fight but to continue to provide redirection when necessary but also ENCOURAGE your “kid-in-transition” to learn the skills necessary to navigate an adult world. One day SOON they’ll have to do it on their own!!! Disclaimer
Now this discussion gave some ages. By no means am I suggesting that this information is fixed to those ages. What I am saying is, remember that the child you parent today is not the child you parent tomorrow. Adjust accordingly.